Can Forgetfulness be Rebellion?

By Casey Knox

I see a psychologist. Yup, not afraid to admit it. I've been going through a divorce and raising 2 teenage boys, as well as being a single mother in a working world. So is it any surprise that I might seek advice about how to cope with all that goes on in my life on a daily basis? I don't think so. And if anyone out there thinks that's crazy, my hat goes off to you. Kudos for keeping it together. You're a better man/woman then me.

One of the things we've been focusing on lately has been my absent-mindedness or forgetfulness. It has plagued me since I had my first son 14 years ago. Anything from locking my keys in my car on a monthly basis to forgetting the actual day of the week, causing me to miss appointments. If you happen to know me personally, you'll definitely agree I forget things more than the average bear. I really hate it because it causes me to make excuses and sometimes be even a little deceitful – all just so I don't seem as dumb as a doornail. Because I'm really not. I swear.

So the story goes like this. I missed a few appointments with my psychologist after Labor Day because Labor Day fell on one of my appointment days; and of course, no one works on Labor Day – psychologists make no exception. So the next few weeks came and every Monday after for 3 weeks, I would get home, start making dinner, and then yell a loud expletive because I realized it was Monday and I was supposed to be at my doctor's, not in my kitchen making spaghetti!!

Tail tucked between my legs, I called my doctor and begged for forgiveness, feeling absolutely terrible for reserving time with him and not showing up. I mean, after all, I'd be a little ticked off if I showed up and he wasn't there.

The next Monday, I practically chanted…I have to go to the doctor's tonight, I have to go to the doctor's tonight. Well, I made it to the doctor's appointment and we began to discuss how frustrating life gets when at every turn you are forgetting the simplest, most basic thing. Like….. its Monday. And he said something that took me aback and made me go "whaaaaat?" He said, "I understand why you missed so many appointments and forgot that it was Monday….you were rebelling."

To this day I can't wrap my mind around it, and it has been the topic of our appointments since. I mean, here I am, ready to go see a neurologist thinking maybe I have some sort of adult attention deficit disorder, and am ready to get put on an amphetamine just to help me counter this daily problem. But my psychologist just blew that idea up by simply saying….you're rebelling.

Quite frankly I'm thinking I need a psychologist to discuss my psychologist.

Oh, and by the way... my ex showed up at my door this weekend ready to pick up the kids. I was so surprised, as I had just sat them down to dinner; I thought it was Saturday, not Sunday. I guess I was just rebelling.